I hope that you're as excited as I am about my National Day Rally speech tomorrow. My speechwriters have primed it wonderfully, my image consultants have picked out my attire and trimmed my hair, and my worthy opposition politicians are sniffing around for morsels to rip apart at the next election.
Of course, I'm not worried about all that, especially that last one. What I am concerned about, though, is that my office is unable to keep a secret. Some of the good stuff has already been leaked out. The most recent one was from my daddy. But I know he means well. He's told me the same thing many times over on Sunday night family dinners: find your successors early, but keep them on a tight leash.
Fortunately, I still have a few key points left to reveal on Sunday. They're sure to keep the nation enthralled for a few days. Long enough to ride out the unfortunate market downturn. I called George about it the other day, he said it's not his fault. But he promised to look into it. I'm counting on it.
Meanwhile, I've already sent instructions to all grassroots leaders. They are to prepare the ground for my good news. Make sure everyone is excited about them. Keep dissention to a minimum. If necessary, move those negative voices online, where the uncle and auntie at the coffeeshop won't know about them.
Everything's ready. I know I'm ready. I've been ready since the last rally. And I hope you are too. This is your nation, your rally. We must come together as one nation, one people. My speech is for the betterment of all Singaporeans. So listen up and listen well.
Oh, and look out for the punchlines too.
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